Psychic Burrito
Load up a tortilla with your favorite burrito ingredients and be amazed as the Psychic Burrito predicts your future.
Taste Your Future »
Scott Swat TV Webcams
Incredible live images of the whole family in various compromising positions. Watch Dave raid the refigerator or catch Liz enjoying the big screen.
Battle of Ages
Play the game that may determine the fate of the world. Execute the plan of a lifetime and all mankind will bow at your feet. Or just play tic tac toe. Hurry man, before there's still time!
Pencil Leg Freaktorium
Sporting the fastest wiener in the world, Captain Don shares his favorite photos and safety tips. Visit the Freaktorium and see real people do real stuff.
Are You a SWAT?
Want to trace your roots back to Poland (or Austria)? Maybe you'd like to share a family moment. Perhaps you're trying to return the power tools you borrowed last year. The Swatkowski family weblog and message center is back. Take a few seconds and let us know what you've been up to lately.
Translation Frustration
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Should I speak louder? Try our Rosetta Stoned language quiz.
Yell at Foreigners »
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Family Dog Selection Science
Selecting the perfect family dog can be a daunting task. Potential canine masters should begin by analyzing vast databases of empirical data.
Statistical probability and fuzzy logic are then used to develop a highly scientific metric for defining the ideal dog breeds, potential health issues, sex, age, size, weight, intelligence, affection, ease of training and grooming requirements. Computer programming experts and math guys will have little trouble getting meaningful results. Finally compare the evaluation criteria to the online rescue shelter databases and parse for a match.
Methodical application of this resulting data set at a Shelter Fair resulted in total success. We threw the spreadsheet in the trash, deleted the SQL database and adopted a mutt who absolutely worked the crowd to find a forever family. Once again the dog chose us and we ended up with a loveable mixed breed and life long family member for better or for worse. So much for science.
Action Pup Eva
Our puppy, like most, is a bundle of frenzy. The dog experts say that long walks will help burn off excess energy. They do. Liz and Dave head straight for the couch after the daily road trips. Action pup proceeds to run laps around the house and yard. Eva is constantly exploring and making mischief. She is a natural born predator and no fly is safe from her hunting instincts.
Puppy Chow
Eva is likely going to be a big bitch (not that way). She already has a large dog bark and a growl that gets attention. In two months she has nearly doubled her weight at the time of adoption. She is a good looking puppy and the vet says she is quite healthy despite her unusual diet. So far she has consumed almost 40 pounds of Purina dog food. Other dietary supplements include:
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Having a fuzzy new friend - PRICELESS
Doggy Training Sir!
Eva attends weekly training sessions and usually naps or completely spazzes out while we get educated as to how dogs think. Our instructor has trained hunting dogs and sled dogs in the great white north for years. Not much call for that in Arizona so he patiently works with goofy local pups who have peed on his leg ( bad Eva ). It is a real awakening to see how much puppy training revolves around people training.
We've started the socialization process with regular trips to the dog park. When our dog gets wound up she is fast! It's great to see her playing in the mud and sometimes with other dogs. She has already had one skirmish with a mutant Terrier who literally clamped down on Eva's neck. Thank goodness for the collar.
As the learning progresses so will Eva's doggy web page.