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Eight Years and 10 trillion dollars later, what have we got to show for it? President Trump ! Thanks Ass.
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Lost in Translation »
This experiment serves to validate accepted theories and beliefs regarding acceleration due to gravity. Materials needed for our tests included a threadbare, three legged sleeper sofa and a duct taped dictionary. The huge book had been used as the couch's fourth leg and for occasional reference.
To collect the desired data, the test furniture and adhesive wrapped dictionary were tossed from the third floor of a six-flat apartment building on moving day. Initially the owner of the couch was somewhat perturbed and failed to recognize the scientific significance of this historic reenactment of Galileo's free fall tests. However, once the true genius of the experiment was understood by all concerned parties, we paid fair market value for the furniture we destroyed.
Ladies and gentlemen behold the Incredible Flying Couch ...
Note the dust ruffle in the above photograph. We did not take into account the potential frictional losses contributed by the rapidly flapping fabric. The aerodynamic drag may have affected the outcome of our experiment to a small degree.
Success! Both test subjects took exactly the same amount of time to fall an equal distance. The book landed just out of the field of view at the precise moment as the flying couch. Intriguingly, the physical properties of the quarter-ton davenport seemed to change to those of a liquid, perhaps being attributed to the sudden deceleration.
No reference books were harmed during this experiment.